The smallest unit of our relationships is obviously between two people, but what happens in these relationships with those closest to us is very important. What we call human attachment is made up of the countless exchanges we have between ourselves and those closest to us, and they very definitely form our sense of self. When those relationships are built in positive, secure ways, it helps us manage emotion better, develop empathy for others, and gain the ability to basically “mindread,” (to know or make a good guess at what others are thinking by their facial expressions and other clues.)

We most often think of attachment happening with mothers and babies, but it is likely that these attachment relationships are built and reformed all across the lifespan. We know that attachment behavior definitely shows up in our couple relationships.

Here are some simple ways to be working on attachment relationships with our kids and others close to us:

• Being face to face
• Appropriate touch
• Active listening
• Spending time not looking at screens!

The hope is that even if our attachment relationships have been hurtful or broken in some way, we can “earn” secure attachment in other solid, dependable relationships. Your relationships are important, and it is not too late!